The Domar Center for Mind/Body Health at Boston IVF
I was at a Boston IVF/IVF New England “Egg Freezing Event” last night.
This was an information session for women who are interested in potentially freezing their eggs to preserve their fertility. It was held at a bar in Cambridge, was very well attended, and the participants listened attentively to the two infertility specialists as they took turns describing the process needed to freeze one’s eggs. I was there to talk briefly about the psychological aspects of egg freezing and I also served as the moderator.
One of the infertility doctors, Dr. Brian Berger, said something which really caught my attention. He was talking about why a woman would make the decision to freeze her eggs and he said that it was about avoiding regret.
He said that the majority of the women he sees currently as infertility patients are there because of egg quality issues due to their age. The patients he is seeing now should not have regret about not freezing their eggs because the technology to freeze eggs wasn’t available five or ten years ago, when his current patients would have been younger and had higher quality eggs.
But he was basically saying that young women might well have regret five or ten years from now if they don’t freeze their eggs now and then have infertility issues when they are in their late 30’s or early 40’s.
As a psychologist, I see patients with regret every day. I even wrote a book proposal a few years ago in an attempt to write a book on how to live a regret-free life. Unfortunately, publishers didn’t see a need for such a book, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a crucial life issue.
We make decisions every single day, and our goal should be to do our best to make decisions we are least likely to regret.
This is how I counsel patients on how to make the best decisions; which path is the one you are least likely to regret in the future?
Research shows that we are far more likely to regret not doing something than we are to regret doing it and it not working out. So when I counsel patients who are going through infertility, that is the path I take.
Thinking about the decision(s) facing you, when you think back five or ten or forty years from now, which decision is the one you are least likely to regret? Which decision is the one which is least likely going to have negative consequences long-term, not just for the next week or month or year?
Thinking about these questions and answering them thoughtfully and honestly gives you the best chance to make decisions you won’t regret, now or in the future.
To learn more about Boston egg freezing egg head over to www.fertilitytrust.com
ABOUT ALICE DOMAR
Alice D. Domar, PhD is a pioneer in the application of mind/body medicine to men’s and women’s health issues. She not only established the first Mind/Body Center for Women’s Health, but also conducts ongoing ground-breaking research in the field. Her research focuses on the relationship between stress and different women’s health conditions, and creating innovative programs to help women decrease physical and psychological symptoms.
Dr. Domar received her M.A. and Ph.D. in Health Psychology from Albert Einstein College of Medicine/Ferkauf School of Professional Psychology of Yeshiva University. Her post-doctoral training was at Beth Israel Hospital, Deaconess Hospital, and Children’s Hospital, all in Boston.
She has conducted research on infertility, breast cancer, menopausal symptoms, ovarian cancer, and premenstrual syndrome. Dr. Domar has earned an international reputation as one of the country’s top women’s health experts.
She is currently the Executive Director of the Domar Center for Mind/Body Health, and the Director of Mind/Body Services at Boston IVF. She is an assistant professor of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Biology at Harvard Medical School, and a senior staff psychologist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center.
Dr. Domar has compiled an impressive list of accomplishments as a best-selling author, media authority and sought-after public speaker. She is the author of numerous books, on the advisory board for Parents Magazine, Health Magazine, Conceive Magazine, and Resolve, and on the Board of Experts for LLuminari. Two of her books have been finalists for the Books for a Better Life Award. She was also the Series Editor for a series of mind/body books by Harvard Medical Publications/Simon and Schuster. She is the narrator of the DVD’s “Stress and Relaxation Explained” and “Infertility Explained”, both of which won silver Telly Awards. Dr. Domar has appeared on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Dateline NBC, CNN, PBS, and the CBS and NBC Evening News, to name a few. She presents lectures and conducts workshops throughout the US and around the world and went on tour with Oprah in the spring of 2004 and 2005 with the LLuminari team. Dr. Domar was named to the prestigious list of 15 “Women to Watch in 2004″ by Lifetime TV. Her newest book is “Be Happy Without Being Perfect” (Three Rivers Press, March, 2009) and she is currently working on a new book, co-authored with Dr. Susan Love, called “Live a Little” (Crown, December, 2009). She is also a featured expert on the new online social health network BeWell.com.